The topic of “Friends with Benefits” (FWB) has been covered in thousands of articles, blog posts, novels, songs, and even a movie that featured Ashton Kutcher and Mia Kunis. The real question is: is it possible to be only “friends with benefits” with someone in South Africa? We always hear about friendships that come to a screeching halt once sex is involved. We always hear about unrequited love and mixed feelings, but we never hear much about situations in which “friends with benefits” actually work out.
This balance of friendship and sex is extremely difficult for some to accomplish, but not impossible. Sex changes everything, but that doesn’t mean that it has to ruin your friendship. Believe it or not, if you follow these three secrets, you can actually have a sexual relationship with your friend and still maintain the friendship.
1. Communication And Honesty
This is the first and most important rule when it comes to being “friends with benefits” in South Africa. Although you won’t technically be in a relationship, you must treat your sexy friendship as if it were a relationship. No, we’re not saying that you need to call your partner your girlfriend/boyfriend – you might scare them off if you do – what we’re saying is that you have to effectively communicate with your partner as if you’re in a relationship. Don’t leave any lingering questions in the air and don’t leave any feelings unexpressed – that’s how feelings get hurt. Being honest with your partner will ensure that this “relationship” doesn’t end with bitter feelings.
2. Know What You Want/Know What Your Partner Wants
We all know that sex “just happens” sometimes. Sometimes you just can’t deny your attraction for one another and you’re jumping into the sheets with your best friend before you really have time to figure out what was going on. However, if you can stop this from happening, attempt to clearly outline the goals of the relationship BEFORE you get physical. Sometimes people luck out and happen to want the same things as their partner, but not every South African FWB relationship starts outs with a bang. FWB’s usually fail when the participants are not on the same level. Like we said before, sex changes everything, so make sure you’re both stepping into this “relationship” with a clear idea of both what you want out of the relationship and what your partner wants.
3. Keep Your Business To Yourself
The rumor mill is a nasty place to be, especially with friends with benefits in South Africa. Simply because people have such difficulty getting along on a normal basis, as opposed to a basis that involves sexual relationships, it’s best to keep your lips zipped. Involving outside people into your “relationship” is more than likely a bad idea. If your FWB has the same group of friends that you do, it’s extremely crucial that you keep your relationship to yourself. Not only can it make the other people in the group feel uncomfortable, but that also leaves your relationship vulnerable to outside influences. Be in control of your own relationship and don’t involve any one else.
